Living in the future.

So, I’m writing this on my phone, because I’m bored, and I figure it’ll take up more time. Also, because I just found the WordPress app for iPhone, and figured I’d give it a test run. So far, so good.

Today I had a bit of a scare - I checked my bank account to find that the bank had run my last transaction ($545) through twice, leaving me almost $500 in the red. I couldn’t focus on anything for the rest of the work day. I went in right after work and got it fixed - but the guy didn’t fix it all the way. I’m still $25 shy of where I was before they screwed up. And thus, my hatred of banks is reinstated.

I went in and bought WiiFit yesterday, on a whim. We brought it home… and damn. That thing doesn’t mess around. I did exactly 30 minutes of stuff (yoga, strength training, aerobics) and was very sweaty at the end of all of it. Jackie did the same later in the evening (while I was at the fitness center on an actual elliptical) and had the same result. This pleases me - for some reason, I had completely underestimated WiiFit. It’s a refreshing way to jump back on the fitness bandwagon.

So a couple nights ago, I sat down with the sole intention of doing some design work for this very blog. And… found I was mentally and creatively empty. I ended up trudging through some stuff, just to do something, anything - but it wasn’t what I imagined or wanted at all. It scares me a little. Where did my imagination go; and more importantly, what happened to the skills I used to have that used to harness that and turn it into something tangible?

Ack.

Not gonna let it slide.

Ping.  My ball just bounced off some object that wasn’t even in it’s trajectory.  +2.  I’m stuck on this ONE tournament in Hot Shots Golf - Open Tee 2.  I have been for weeks.  And I can’t get over that.  No matter who I use, no matter what the special rules are, no matter what course it is… I can’t win.  And I won’t turn “Easy” mode on.  I beat the first one without having to, and I’m not doing it with this one, either.

We’re still calling Weezer’s “Pork and Beans” “New Mix Variety”.  This business confuses me sometimes.

Ting.  Triple Bogey.

So last night I ruined another fun night by getting entirely too drunk.  It’s to the point where I don’t even want to know what I did, what I said, how mean I was.  I’m incredibly embarrassed.  Also, I have a drinking problem.  I really shouldn’t be drinking anymore.  I think I’m going to take an extended break from that particular activity.  Up to and including my trip to PAX, if that even happens.

On the good side, thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate my birthday.  It was an amazing time, from what I remember.  Also, mega thanks to Jackie, who has put up with an unfair amount of bullshit every time I drink like that.  She’s one incredible human being, and I’m pretty much the luckiest guy ever.

Two shots in the rough, finished out the hole at +5.

D’you ever get in that odd state of mind where song lyrics sound so much deeper than they probably are?  I’m in that mode right now.  Joan Osborne’s “One of Us” is on right now, and it’s kind of a trip.  Especially this line:

“If God had a face, what would it look like?  And would you wanna see - if seeing meant that you would have to believe?“

That’s kind of loaded.  I don’t know how I’d answer that second question.  I dig it.  My boss tells me that Joan Osborne makes lite jazz music now… might have to check that out.

Wow… we added Metro Station’s “Shake It”.  That’s kind of a surprise.  Now I know I’ll be sick of it in about 2-3 weeks.  I keep seeing their video on MTV-U, and for some reason (based on a complete snap judgement) I think they look like douchebags.  Like… the kind of people that probably introduce themselves by saying, “Hi, I’m ________, you’ve probably heard of my band ‘Metro Station’?”  I don’t know why I think that.

I think I’m done writing for now.

+22 over 18 holes.  This game is going to be my undoing.

Green tea and blurred vision.

Bunch of stuff floatin’ around in the ol’ noggin today.  Let’s take a crack at getting it all out.

I’ve come to the conclusion that free alcohol is a bad idea.  Last night, Jackie and I went to O’Aces for their anniversary party.  Beer and well drinks were free.  Thus, I imbibed about 2 too many glasses of Newcastle.  These days, I don’t care so much about the getting drunk part - I enjoy that part.  I worry about things when I blackout, ’cause I have a tendency to get real, REAL mean when I’m that drunk.  Usually, the closer you are to me, the meaner I am to you.

So when I woke up alone in bed this morning, I kind of assumed the worst.  From talking to Jackie, it doesn’t seem like I did anything last night outside of my general meanness.  That sucks, but at least I didn’t do anything stupid.

The internet’s been a really boring place lately.  I don’t have anywhere to go with that, I just thought I’d put it out there.

Well shit, I thought I had a bunch to write about, but every time I try to start a paragraph, I stop and erase it.  Exciting times are coming up for my family, and my mom has NO CLUE.  Steph’s in an actual relationship, which is refreshing for a change.  Brandon’s coming to move in with me, and I’m way excited for that.  Chris is happily married, and Val is doing great, as well.

I’ve rekindled my love for music lately.  Thanks in part to Russ for his “Best of 2008 - so far…” blog post.  Thanks in part again to staying with Chris, and getting to play with some neat equipment.  Thanks also in part to Jackie’s sister Rachel finding that we have MTV-U.  Finally, an MTV channel I can actually enjoy.  I wonder how long it’ll take to get bastardized like all the others.  Anyways, I’ve listened to SO MUCH good music lately… I might have to do another Seeqpod music post sometime soon, ’cause there’s stuff I definitely want to share with others.

I was talking to Tom Kim the other day, and he imparted on me some wisdom that he got from a former boss of his, relating to one’s career path.  He said, “One year of your twenties is worth five in your thirties, and worth ten in your forties.  And if you haven’t settled on what you’re going to do by then - you should just stop and enjoy it, ’cause then it’s too late to change things.”  It scared me a little, ’cause sometimes I feel like I’ve squandered a large part of my 20’s.  I guess I have 4 more years to make up for that.

When I’m in the air studio at Mix, I like to be shoeless.  Is that weird?

I’m officially done writing.  I found something else to do.  (Seriously, www.conceptispuzzles.com is one of the better online time-wasters I’ve ever seen.  Many thanks to my brother Brandon for showing me the goodness.)

What to say when you’ve nothing to say.

I’ve not updated in quite a while.  Since before I went to Minnesota even.

I’ve been meaning to, but I would pull up WordPress - and have nothing.  Also, I’ve been kind of scared off of my blog a little bit.  Someone who read it took something the wrong way, told Jackie about it, and she flipped out on me a little.  We’re past that point, and everything’s cool, but sometimes I wish people would stop seeing problems where there are none.  I love that you read my stuff, but if something you read sounds iffy, please talk to me about it before scaring my girlfriend for no reason.  Please?

Also, every time I seem to want to write, it just all seems extremely trite and superfluous.  I mean, I know that part of the reason I write in this is to keep faraway friends and familiy up to date on my life… but does anyone really care about abridged versions of my day to day activities?  I re-read my posts most of the time, and usually I can’t even muster up the attention to finish them.

I don’t know.  I’m pretty sure I found something to write about, but I’m at work right now (the weekday kind where I should be doing something else, not the weekend kind where I could sit for a couple hours and just write).  Maybe I’ll get to it later.

Sorry, I’m in kind of a salty mood, which is amplified by my knowing full well that I shouldn’t be in a salty mood.

Call the hotline. He’s asleep again.

So, there’s nothing quite like not being able to sleep… and then waking up late as a result, even though you set an alarm to get yourself up.  So then your coworker (who, mind you, is brand new, and this is only his second day on the job) has to call you and wake you up.   And instead of calling you right away at the start of your shift, he waits around until 20 after - then calls your boss first BEFORE he gets in touch with you…

Nothing quite like that, right?

Anyhow, at least the new kid was cool about it.  Kind of.  Could have gone without him calling the boss.

So yesterday was a pretty good day.  I had my air shift, then went home immediately and slept.  Slept hard.  Slept until about 3pm, then woke up to see that Wayne’s World was on the air.  For the record, Wayne’s World holds the distinction of being my first “favorite movie ever”.  When I was a kid, I went nuts for both that movie and the sequel (which actually came on after the first was done - double score!).  I even used to have the soundtrack on cassette tape - it was the first cassette tape I’d ever listened to so much that I actually wore the tape completely out so that it wouldn’t work anymore.

Whoa - our station is playing a public service program right now, and the host just told a story about how he was speaking at an old folk’s home.  They got to the topic of sex, and apparently a few of the people had been pretty promiscuous.  Anyhow, the host basically made an off-color remark about how you could pretty much trace this STD from person to person back to who had it originally in the home.

This host (who will remain nameless) makes off-color comments a lot.  He’s a very nice man, but he’s really old, and has a lot of negative qualities that show themselves during the course of each show.  To be honest, said comments are probably the most interesting parts of the show, because it’s pretty boring otherwise.

Off the tangent, back to yesterday.  Vince came and picked me up around 5, and we went to his house, where Lisa made us all an excellent dinner.  Around 7:00 or so, we took off for the Henderson Pavilion.  (A little later than I wanted to leave… but a ride is a ride, and it was free food - I’d have to be ridiculous to complain about any of that.)  We got to the venue around 7:30, waited in line for about 15 minutes, and at about 7:45 we were in place and ready for the show to start.  That show was Video Games Live.

I don’t have the words - it was incredible.  I mean, the whole experience was just mindblowing.  Seeing something that you’ve held close for a long time put in the spotlight and validated like that; it’s a great experience.  Better than I expected, even.  There were even a couple times where I got all misty-eyed - it was THAT good.  It was really nice to just let go of some of the self-consciousness I had about my love of the hobby and truly enjoy myself in a crowd of people who were there for the exact same reasons I was.  I’m imagining that PAX is going to be much the same way… if I make it to PAX.  That’s a whole other story for another time.

Equations that have nothing to do with math.

I was sitting here thinking about stuff.  (Wow, what a surprise, right?)  Anyhow, last night I had to miss a coworker’s birthday party because I had to work.  Fancy that.  Now, it wasn’t a HUGE deal - but it was something that I really wanted to go to.  That got me to thinking - it sucks how when we get older, and more involved in our respective “careers”, this happens more and more.  The ratio of times I get to say “Yeah, I’m free that night!  I’ll totally be there!” to the times I get to say, “Sorry, I’d love to go, but I have to work that night.” is not where I want it to be at all.  However, I don’t know if I have control over that right now.  I mean I do, but I don’t.  I’ll just go on in the knowledge that supposedly all this work is supposed to pay off in the long run.

I’ve been really off lately.  And I don’t know how to describe it.  I’d talked about it briefly with my friend Jeff, and gotten a little of it out, but there’s still this subconscious listlessness going on in my brain.  He worded it brilliantly in his Facebook status message: “Monotony is the poison of spirit.  I’ve had an overdose, and I’m seeking the antidote.”  Everything lately seems like routine… in part, because it is.  (Part of my first paragraph kind of has to do with that - if I could go to planned events like the party last night, it’d break up the monotony at least a little.)  It seems like all I do is work, go home, hang out with Jackie/watch TV/play video games/work the second job, sleep, wake up, repeat.  7 days a week.

In my head, the first reaction to reading that is, “Well, why don’t you do something else?”  And my answer is the same complaint shared by 99% of people my age - I simply don’t have the money to “do stuff”.  Especially in this town.  Yes, I know there’s stuff to do that doesn’t cost anything.  However, looking into it a little deeper, there really isn’t anything you can do where you’re not paying for SOMETHING.  No matter where we go in town here, all I can think of is how much it’s going to cost me in gas money to get from point A to point B - nothing worth doing is within walking distance of where we live.

Another thing I’ve been fighting with is myself.  There ARE other things I could be doing when I get home - working on rebuilding a website, working on getting the internet station up and running, any number of audio/video things - being productive somehow.  Thing is, I’ve had a really hard time with motivation lately when I come home from work.  All I want to do lately is come home and veg out in front of the Xbox.  (Part of that - but not all of it - is because of GTA IV.  Damn that game is good.)  I get into it, and many times I’m up until 3-4am.  This causes me to 1.) not get as much sleep as I should be getting and 2.) not get to work as early as I’d like.  Going to work without enough sleep causes me to not want to do anything after I get out, and the cycle continues.  Shit, I haven’t even worked out in a few weeks - and I was doing so well.  Luckily, I’ve only put back on 4 of the 10 pounds I lost.

Speaking of that, I need to get back on that in a big way.  Ever since my lapse, I have not felt well.  At all.  (I mean, the lack of sleep doesn’t help that either.)  The cat allergies started affecting me again (x10).  I’ve started to get winded going up stairs.  I just feel crappier in general.  Given all of this, you’d think it would be really easy for me to just make the 30 second walk to the workout room on a semi-nightly basis, but I’ve been entirely too lazy.  Ack.  I wanted to be visibly slimmed down for Chris’ wedding, and that’s not happening.  I failed the one long-term goal I’d set… and I’m not going to lie - I’m disappointed in myself, in a big way.

Real quick before I go hang myself (JOKES!  JOKES!), I wanted to share something with anyone reading this (which, by my traffic patterns, I’m guessing are Jackie, Russ and Jeff - and since Jeff showed it to me, it’ll really only be new to two of you) - it’s a web comic.   The first one I’ve read that doesn’t really aim to be funny - and I like it a lot.  It’s called Li’l Depressed Boy.  The author just rebooted it after a couple failed attempts at keeping a regular schedule, and it’s amazing, if not heartbreaking.

Excelsior, now more than ever.

It’s turning into a weekly thing.

Imagine that - the only time I’m posting blogs is when I’m bored on-air at the station.  Figures.

I’m not going to lie - my life has been boring as hell lately.  It’s pretty much been a never-ending loop of sleep, work, GTA IV, eat something, more GTA IV, sleep, repeat.  I’m trying to get as much out of GTA IV as I can - meaning I’m trying to do all the side missions and junk the first play through.  Shit, I’m probably going to end up buying the strategy guide so I don’t miss anything.  There’s no way I’m getting the “Finish the game in less than 30 hours” achievement… I think I’ve already passed that mark, and I’m only 50% in.  Just passed the 50% mark last night, actually.  One thing I do like is that Jackie likes watching when I play GTA, and I dig that because she generally doesn’t like video games at all.  Being that I play video games all the damn time, it’s nice that she can at least tolerate being in the same room when I’m playing this.

I get to go home in a couple of weeks, and the prospect has me excited.  Two weddings in two weekends… not so much.  Not that it won’t be a blast seeing ALL of my extended family over the span of a week (it will), but I’ve never really been a fan of weddings in general.  Lately, it’s because the inevitable question, “When are you getting married?” gets asked of me ad nauseum, and it’s just not something I like dealing with.  Since most of the people asking are close friends and family, I can’t backhand them like I want to.  I’ll get married when I’m good and damn ready.

Also, while it’s refreshing, time spent at home isn’t what it used to be.  Especially when you don’t have a car to be able to drive wherever you want whenever you want.  Everything has to be planned out in advance, and schedules must be followed.  This day you’re going here to see this person, next day, next place, next person.   There really isn’t a feeling of relaxation.  (Maybe it’s because my definition of “relaxation” equates to me sitting around doing absolutely nothing.)  It always seems so nice to finally get home after being away on “vacation”, and that’s kind of messed up.  In all honesty, I do miss everyone back home, but it drives me crazy having to run around that much just to catch up with everyone in the little time I have.

One last thing - missing even ONE payment for student loans is a BITCH.  I skipped one so that I could have some spare cash for when Brandon and Candace visited last month… and I have no clue how I’m going to catch up.  Well… that’s over-exaggerating.  I know how I’ll catch up, but it’s just going to suck because I won’t have money for anything else for a little while.  So remember, while it might sound like a good idea in theory, just don’t do it.  Late fees are a bitch, kids.

[forgot to add a title]

I’m working today. Both jobs even. WOO-HOO!

I don’t know what to write about, but I felt like writing something. I was surprised as shit that David Cook won American Idol. To be completely honest, I think the producers rigged it - they knew they’d make more money with Cook trapped in a record deal than they would with Archuleta. I mean… they didn’t want another Daughtry to happen. So regardless of what America voted, I think Cook was chosen. I mean, just compare Simon’s comments on the performance show to his backpeddling during the finale. I think that was more than just being apologetic.

Jackie and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary last night. It would’ve been a better day, but we both had to work - she got called in, and I forgot to ask for the day off. Didn’t really matter too much - we still went out that night. Our initial plans were to hit up the Carnival Buffet at the Rio, because it’s supposed to be the best buffet in town. Upon getting there though, we found a line… well, we found a line. A line that would’ve taken about 2 hours to wait through. Instead, we headed across the street to the Gold Coast; neither of us had been inside that one, so it was new for the both of us. The buffet was alright - nothing great, but I did end up having a mean plate of Mongolian food. (Which, by the way, has become my single favorite foreign food since I’ve moved out here.) Then we sat on the floor and played a few hands of Blackjack, a couple slots and went home. Didn’t win anything - but I never expect to anyway, so it didn’t matter. We had fun.

When we got home, I started watching the Bluray copy of A Scanner Darkly that I had from Netflix. Now, while I didn’t get as confused as I did the first time I watched Waking Life (another great film by Linklater - uses the same rotoscoping technique used in Scanner), I was still pretty confused at the end. I think part of that had to do with the fact that I was REALLY sleepy through the first half of the film. Anyhow, I got the jist of it, and if I get the chance to watch it again, I definitely will. It also made me want to rewatch Waking Life for about the sixth time.

Just yesterday, I finally signed up for three RLS’ (Retail Loyalty Sites). I’d heard of them before from Brandon when he worked at Target, but never really gave them a second thought. Since I work at Gamestop now though, I’m eligible to use ‘em. Basically how they work is simple: you take training on the different systems and games (there are one site each for Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo), and earn points. These points either earn you free stuff (MS and Sony) or entries into a sweepstakes for giant prize packages (Nintendo). I figure since I’m basically sitting online the whole time I’m on-air during the weekends, I might as well do these things and earn myself some new video games. (Which should also help my wallet out, since I can earn new games that I’d otherwise be spending money on.) I’ve only been on ‘em since yesterday, and I already have enough points for a free PS3 game. Killer.

I got nothing left, and I should probably get back to paying attention to my job.

American Idol - The Numbers Game

For this week’s shows, here are my predictions:

2 to 1: Syesha Mercado, knowing she’s probably going home this week, pulls out all the stops and practically puts on a Broadway production with her song choices.  David Cook, knowing he’s probably going to make the finale, is going to play it safe by playing some songs that are rock-themed, but nothing too surprising.  Archuleta’s going to sing… well, damn near anything.  It’s pretty obvious that he’s the kid to beat at this point, and all the teeny-bopper kids absolutely adore him.  His performance will be something like you’d see on a side stage at an amusement park - just like they’ve all been.  Syesha gets voted off, we see a David vs. David finale.

5 to 1: Same performance from Syesha as predicted in the 2 to 1 odds.  David Cook, however, decides to take a risk and fails miserably on one song (kind of like he did with the Duran Duran cover).  His second song is good, but not enough to recover.  Archuleta gasps his way through another solid performance.  In a shocker, David Cook gets voted out, and we head into an Archuleta/Mercado showdown - where Syesha might as well not even show up, because like I said, Archie is a force to be reckoned with.

25 to 1: Same performance from Syesha.  (Sorry, I just can’t see her doing anything but going huge.)  David Cook has an Ace up his sleeve and brings down the house with two songs you never think you’d hear rocked out… rocked out.  And done well.  Archuleta tries to go with songs that are too big for his voice, ends up forgetting an entire verse, and breaks down in tears on stage, only to have his father yell at him from the crowd on national television.  Syesha gets voted off, but then is brought to the finale when Archuleta commits suicide under all the pressure he’s receiving from his father.

1 to 1: Ryan Seacrest says, “THIS is A-MARE-ican Idol,” and makes 7 or 8 thinly-veiled homoerotic advances towards Simon Cowell during the course of the 2 shows.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

To do list. Literally.

Stuff I want to do over the summer:

• Scratch together enough money to buy GTA IV.
• Listen to those CD’s I have laying around that haven’t even been listened to. (LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver, I’m looking at you.)
• Beat a few video games I’ve been working on FOREVER. (Crisis Core: FFVII, Jeanne D’Arc, Patapon, God of War: Chains of Olympus, Ratchet and Clank Future, Uncharted, Dead Rising…)
• Finish reading the 5 books I’ve been working on for months, start a new book or two.
• Actually read all the stuff I printed out while researching ‘net radio stations.
• Start doing the graphic design for my station’s site.
• Help my brother find a job so that his moving out here goes super smooth.
• Buy plane tickets for my trip home. (June 20th - 28th, for those who care.)
• Lose another 10 pounds.
• Save money (somehow) and get my sleeve outlined (at the very least).
• Make sure I’m not broke for my trip to Seattle for PAX.
• Go to some goddamn rock shows!
• Have an honest-to-God birthday party.

Hell, I’m sure will be more. What do you want to do this summer?