Positive, for no real reason.

Have you ever just been feeling super good about things, even when you know you shouldn’t be?  I’ve been feeling that way a lot in the past week.  Sure, I’ve got collection agencies calling me twice a day; and I’m not really sure if I’ll ever have a steady full-time job in this town ever again; and my car is on its deathbed, figuratively; and seeing/speaking to friends back home makes me want to move back to be with them… but y’know, I’ve got a spring in my step, dammit, and it feels kind of nice for once.

I started working out again this past week, and that coincided with the restart of my music blog (My Year In Discs, for anyone reading who somehow doesn’t know).  More than likely that’s the reason for my chipper demeanor – I can already feel my metabolism picking up.  Plus, I like having that work out time to listen to new music; I really hadn’t been keeping up with things musically, and I’ve found that I really do like getting that exposure to new music consistently.  The working out also gives me a lot of time to mull stuff over in my mind, and it helps me out a lot with some of the bigger issues I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Two members of my family have recently had surgeries.  Generally, people tend to stay away from unneeded surgery – really, there’s so much that could go wrong.  I read stories in the news all the damn time of negligent doctors doing negligent things ending in tragedy.  That freaks me out.  I don’t understand why anyone would go under the knife unless they absolutely, positively NEED to.  I’m not going to go into detail of who is getting what surgery, but I will say that the surgeries are not *completely* unnecessary, depending on how you look at them.  The one is a pretty damn selfless act, and it’s downright honorable.  It’s just the reasoning behind the act that gets me thinking.  The other one… the other one seems a little hypocritical, but I’m being assured that it will help in the long run.  Honestly, with money as tight as it is… I disagree with it.  I do.  However, happiness seems to have a price tag in this case, and I’ll come to get over my disdain in time.

I get to see No Doubt tonight as they kick off their new tour here in Vegas.  I feel… like I should be more excited.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked as hell, but going to live shows doesn’t elicit the same feelings for me that they used to.  Maybe it’s because all the shows I do get to see are filled with fans that are… kids.  It makes me feel ancient to be at a show and surrounded by teenagers that are easily ten years (or more) younger than me.

It’s not that I care that we like the same music… y’know, whatever.  It kills me to feel old, though.  “Getting old” has long been something I’ve dreaded, ever since I was younger.  Some of my friends have told me that once you hit 30 or so, something kind of snaps in you, and you start to feel okay about it… hell, you start to take pride in your age.  I don’t know if I’ll ever hit that spot, though.  I think said fear of getting old is the same reason I drag my feet on things like marriage and kids… those are adult things, and in my head I don’t want to have to be an adult.

Aww hell, I went and put myself into a crappy mood.  I’m a stop writing, lest this get any worse.